Individual Therapy
Just going through the motions in life?
Erica* felt numb after her breakup. She didn’t expect that relationship to last forever, but she didn’t expect to feel this defeated… or this fragmented. She felt like she was going through the motions of life… not living it.
Erica had a history of depression and anxiety and had been on and off medication throughout high school and college. She had grown up in a chaotic home with a lot of violence between adults. She was well aware of her emotional struggles about relationships and invested a lot of effort into doing things differently from her parents. She was trying to be better.
Yet, she couldn’t understand why the depression was creeping in again. All her usual tools and techniques for coping didn’t seem to do the trick anymore. She knew it was time to team up with a therapist to get things sorted out again.
Life’s like that, isn’t it…?
You make progress, move forward, and level up. And yet, you hit a point when none of that matters – you’re thrown for a loop. Things make little sense anymore. Everything you used to know to do doesn’t work the same way anymore.
I honor and respect your unique life experiences. They are yours, and they are valid. Clients seeking services with me are going through a variety of challenges. I work with individuals like Erica – going through some significant life changes that bring up old feelings and habits. But many are experiencing something entirely new for them, wondering, “Is there something wrong with me?”
I work with adults coming to therapy with a variety of concerns and goals.
To name a few…
Improving stress management in uncertain, overwhelming times
Processing and coping with life-changing events never faced before
Growing into new roles in life (new parents, college to career, adulting… many more)
Managing mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, ADHD, and PTSD
Increasing self-love and self-care to be a better caregiver to others
Repeating the same old patterns…
People often repeat patterns of thought or behavior that can perpetuate their problems.
Maybe you went through a tough time in your teen years. You were bullied, lost, took too many risks, or made poor decisions that put you in bad situations. During formative years or tough times, your brain is growing and cementing in certain behavior patterns and ways of thinking designed to help you survive.
Fast forward days, weeks, months, or even years. Those same patterns get activated when faced with stressful situations – even though they differ from what you needed to survive.
You do things like avoid building deep relationships with other people because your experience so far tells you that others can’t be trusted. You procrastinate and avoid challenging situations or hard work because that feeling of failure wrecked your confidence – so it’s better to keep playing it safe. You are quick to anger and irritability because you’ve learned that anger is a feeling that’s more readily accepted than sadness, loneliness, or shame.
But all these behaviors and patterns hold you back and keep you stuck in the same place. They keep you from taking significant steps and seeing what might be out there for your life… what might be better.
Getting you enough traction to “get out of the mud”…
There are many different ways this can happen. It can look different for everyone.
Gaining insight
In other words, we must answer the question, “WHY?” Sometimes understanding more about why we do, feel, or think is the key to making change. Guilt, self-doubt, shame, judgment, and criticism all get in the way of being able to see clearly why certain patterns happen over and over.
Many people find they’ve adopted specific ways of thinking and living as ways of surviving through stress or keeping the balance between themselves and their family. That doesn’t mean there’s something WRONG with you as a person. You can take responsibility for your actions and choices while also understanding where they come from and why you live that way.
“A-ha!” moments come from a trusting partnership between you and me. When you bring your authentic self to sessions, I can help you examine those turning points, values, beliefs, personality quirks, and worries. Together, we can develop some theories about why, when, and how those factors influenced the default settings for how you think, feel, and behave.
Taking action
That’s right… that means making changes. But it’s hard to do that on your own.
Therapy can provide accountability because I can help you make realistic, attainable plans for change and hold you to them. Sometimes we KNOW what is good for us, but we don’t always know how to get started or maintain a change. But I can help keep you honest!
You’re bringing a lot of different strengths to the table!
Think about it. You’ve already made it this far on your own. There must be some strength of character, talent, skill, or motivation that has kept you going.
But you may have recently run out of steam. Therapy can help you stoke the fire and get it going again. I can help you uncover those strengths and use them to your advantage.
Skills for staying organized can help you track your progress in therapy. If you’re great at keeping track – you can use that data gathering for motivation, confidence, and accountability.
You’ve got a creative eye for problem solving and self-expression. You can apply that to your mental health! Put creativity to work by using arts or writing to aid you in gaining insight and uncovering underlying thoughts and emotions.
You’re a caregiver, always making sure everyone around you is safe. Apply those skills to yourself. What would you tell yourself if YOU were your own best friend to help you get through the tough times?
Don’t limit yourself by giving the best of yourself to your boss, kids, significant other, or friends. Invest those skills into yourself and see what amazing changes you can make from within!
Whatever the challenge is before you, your experiences, personality, relationships, thoughts, beliefs, and concepts about the world affect how you move through life.
Let’s talk about what it’ll look like for you…
Services start with an initial assessment appointment. This is your time to let it all out. I’ll have many questions to understand your life and what you need to get out of therapy services. Many clients have said that they feel lighter and more hopeful that things will get better even after the first session.
The first session will also include a conversation about your individual goals. I want you to get the most out of your commitment to therapy. To me, that means making sure that everything we do is centered on you. I will often make suggestions on different directions we can explore, but you always have veto-rights.
We’ll also talk about a schedule and plan for the following sessions – a plan that suits your schedule, financial situation, and needs. Weekly therapy sessions might be the right fit for you, or it might be every other week or monthly.
Your individual goals drive each therapy session. If you’re like Erica, it could be gaining more insight into what triggered her depression and finding new ways to work through it. Or, it might be about adapting to your changing roles in life, moving into a new career, becoming a parent, ending a relationship, or learning to love yourself again.
Remember Erica? Therapy made her feel like a whole person again.
Erica worked through her breakup. She realized she had some coping skills, but they weren’t serving her well because she had changed. She was surprised to realize that some trauma she experienced in her past wasn’t fully resolved as she thought.
As she faced new challenges in life, parts of the past resurfaced. It wasn’t easy to face, but it was also helpful to realize that her responses were normal, protective, and designed for survival.
It was time to update her perspective and mindset. Once she could see things clearly and shift her thinking, stress became more manageable, and problems didn’t pile up so high. Erica embraced her creative spirit and courage to start new projects and set new life goals to help her move forward.
The help and support you need are just a few clicks away.
Whether you’ve been in therapy before or it’s new to you, help and support are just a few clicks away with individual teletherapy.
The path ahead is not an easy one. But I’m here to walk alongside you and help you see that, with each step, you’re capable of moving forward.
If you’re ready to take that step or find out if working with me is the right fit for you, give me a call.
During a free 15-minute consultation, I will hear your story, answer your questions, and give you an idea of what it might be like for us to work together: (540) 324-9079.